Rice Lake’s Mary Ann Bednarek waves from a family-made homecoming float for her son, Kenny, a two-time Olympian. Donning 200 meters men’s silver medals from the Tokyo and Paris Olympics and a gold medal won in the same event this September in the 2024 Diamond League final, Bednarek was welcomed to his hometown for celebratory events including Oct. 12 being named “Kenny Bednarek Day” by Rice Lake Mayor Harlan Dodge. He was accompanied by his girlfriend, Sharmilla Nicollet, a professional golfer, whom he credits with much of his recent athletic growth and success. (Submitted photo)
Jenny Snarski
Catholic Herald Staff
What is the difference between an adopted child and a biological one?
Asked this question during the home study for an adoption, Mary Ann Bednarek’s answer was, “Absolutely nothing, because if there is, you shouldn’t be adopting.” The person conducting the visit clarified there was one, but only one – blood.
So, as she and her first daughter returned to Wisconsin from Japan, the new mother took issue with her father introducing his 18-month-old granddaughter as adopted. His concern was that someone might wonder why his unmarried adult daughter now had an Amerasian child. Bednarek’s primary concern was for her daughter’s emotional well-being – she wanted her child to feel welcomed and loved without exception.
More than 30 years later, the Rice Lake resident’s story of adoptive motherhood has been thrust into the spotlight as one of her four children is now an Olympic medalist. Since turning pro in 2019, “Kung Fu” Kenny Bednarek has risen from being ranked 46th in the men’s 200 meters at the World Championships to winning Olympic silver in the event twice, in Tokyo in 2021 and Paris in 2024.
During a mid-October homecoming gathering in Rice Lake, when Kenny was asked who has been most influential in helping him become who he is today, the sprinter called out his mom “first of all.” He pointed to her in the crowd, surrounded by extended family, including cousins who organized the multi-day event.
“Without my mom, without her adopting me and my brother and sisters, we wouldn’t have been able to achieve our goals. There’s a lot of kids in adoption who have dreams and aspirations, and Mom was one of those people that gave us the opportunity to pursue our dreams … She’s the one that pushed me to be a better person and a better athlete,” he said, noting that, as his first running coach, she helped develop his mental strength.
Questioned what he was most proud of, Kenny said it was not the medals.
“I’m most proud of the journey – just to get to where I am today,” he explained, from being adopted to growing up in a small town, then going to the Olympics after starting out in junior college. He acknowledges his road to success has not been traditional.
As Kenny continues achieving his goals, his mother relishes achieving hers day by day – being a mom, as she longed to be for decades.
Though Kenny has been more open about his foster care and adoptive experience only in recent months, he is beginning to embrace his platform as an adoption advocate in addition to being a role model for athletic achievement and the dedication and commitment needed to achieve any dream.
On July 7, Kenny celebrated his adoption day on social media. “Because I was adopted, I grew up with the support of a forever family which helped me to run after my dreams,” he posted.
Bednarek added that he was teaming up with the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption “to raise awareness of the urgent need for foster care adoption.” The nonprofit, founded by Wendy’s restaurant owner and adoptee Dave Thomas, is, according to their website, “dedicated to dramatically increasing the number of adoptions of children waiting in North America’s foster care systems.”
The organization shares that there are currently more than 108,000 children “lingering in foster care” across the United States; 20,000 young people age out of the system every year, and 20 percent will be homeless without a permanent family after they turn 18.
Sharing his story at davethomasfoundation.org, the Olympian credited his past with driving him forward.
“Every single previous version of me is still a part of me, including the trauma from my childhood,” Kenny wrote. “I own my past and my present … I am who I am, and I’ve achieved what I’ve achieved by buckling down and doing the really tough work – work on myself, working through emotional trauma and setbacks, and tough, hard work on the track.”
Kenny’s mother has had endured tough, hard work of her own. Born a triplet in a large Catholic family and raised in Dodge County, Bednarek only ever wanted to be a mom.
She was 40 when she decided to make her dream a reality. Years of waiting for the right man to come along did not deter her from pursuing what she felt was a call from God.
Bednarek was serving as a midwife in a military hospital in Japan when she began inquiring about adoption. She met with a young, single woman early in her pregnancy, which led to the adoption of Mary Clare. Juggling single parenthood with a newborn and full-time work took its toll, and Bednarek went back to the States, where she could find a job that better fit her parenting vocation.
Able to laterally transfer her military service to the Indian Health Service, Bednarek moved to Oklahoma after spending a few months with family in Wisconsin. Her daughter, then 18 months old, began to pray daily for “a brown baby sister to love,” and the mother opened herself to the process of adoption again.
Every one of Bednarek’s four adoptions were paid for from her annual tax refunds. Given the expense of an international adoption, she continued to seek viable American options and got connected with an agency in New Jersey.
“God gave me these babies,” Bednarek said and explained how difficult adopting infants is normally. The process often spans multiple months, if not years, but she waited just six months for her first daughter and only four for the second. Receiving the call she had been selected for a baby girl of African descent, Bednarek couldn’t wait to tell Mary Clare she was going to be a big sister.
“She lit up like a Christmas tree!” Bednarek recalled vividly how “just gorgeous” her daughter was in expressing her excitement. The pair traveled together to welcome baby sister Mary Alys. Returning to Oklahoma, Bednarek felt her family was complete.
After years of praying and begging God, she was content and very grateful for the gifts of her daughters, until the day she heard a voice.
“I swear it was God,” she stated. “He told me my job was not done yet.” Without question, and open to “take what you get,” as with pregnancy, Bednarek started the adoption process again, including her daughters in the decision to expand their family.
Starting the applications and home-study process, which Bednarek called a “feat of awfulness” and necessary though uncomfortable probing, she persevered even as potential placements went to two-parent homes.
Bednarek repeated confidently how she just “listened to God” each step of the way. As the idea of adoption took an early hold in her heart, her desire was for a child with Down’s Syndrome. She now sees God had plans for her to parent children with other needs.
Early in February 2003, she took a call asking if she would consider a set of 4-year-old brothers. Born as the youngest of a large family whose mother had not wanted more children, the boys were raised by an extended family member until that person died. The birth mother then dropped them off at the foster care agency without explanation or even a good-bye. Placed with a foster family, they were dropped off again two weeks later with the bags of all their belongings.
Bednarek picked the boys up days later, having never met or seen them. The agency provided a rough secondhand suitcase that fit everything the twins had, and it didn’t include winter coats.
The 4-year-old twins had clearly been through a lot. Bednarek, then 52, says Ian was friendly but Kenny didn’t speak much and didn’t want to be touched. Their mother was grateful for their 10- and 6-year-old sisters, who could add a sense of normalcy and interaction. She navigated the life of her growing family one day at a time with patience and conviction.
She recalled the twins’ 5th birthday, their first as her sons. Ian asked for a store-bought cake and Kenny wanted a homemade one. Each boy’s request was fulfilled, but when Ian said they could just share Kenny’s to save his for next year, their mother felt her heart break for all they had been through.
Bednarek credits her ability to parent four children alone, each with their unique needs, to being an older mother and having grown up with traditional values. Having experienced a lot of life before becoming a parent, she was more mature and able to deal with some of the challenges without letting doubts creep in. She admitted being a single parent allowed her freedom to make the choices she felt best without pushback or compromise. That said, as soon as she was able to retire, Bednarek moved back to Rice Lake, where her two triplet sisters lived and there was extended family to support her and her children as they got older.
“There were daunting days,” Bednarek shared. She remembers telling Mary Clare, “If it wasn’t for God, I would have no other adult in the house to talk to.”
She added that “God and I got real close” during those teenage and young adult years, emphasizing “real close.” When things were difficult with the boys, she would retreat to the adoration chapel at St. Joseph’s Church.
“I’d talk out loud and cry to God” for help raising them, she remembers. “It’s better now … I can go in and be thankful.”
She sees the hand of God all along the way, and finding a family therapist was monumental.
“I’m not ashamed to say we’ve done a lot of counseling … we go, we go, and we go,” she repeated, confirming that no one’s story is ever over.
Bednarek admitted that counseling doesn’t work like magic, and now she is working through a new stage of letting Kenny go. First it was to the pros, she said, but “now I have to give my son to the world.”
She knows that Kenny is fulfilling his calling as she is hers, staying close to the girls and helping Ian find his own way. She is grateful for Ian’s commitment to weekly adoration and for his frequent conversations with local priest and adoption advocate Fr. Dennis Mullen.
The Bednarek family moved to Rice Lake at Christmastime in 2011, when the boys were in sixth grade. Kenny was struggling with puberty, so Bednarek got him into running as a healthy outlet. Later, it was his professional contract with Nike that made it possible for him to buy his mom a bigger house two years ago for her birthday. He and Ian celebrated their 26th birthday there, and she made the boys another homemade birthday cake.
When she was worried turning pro would separate Kenny from his family, Kenny told her, “Mom, I know who my family is.” She said she is proud of each of her four children but acknowledges how rare Kenny’s persona is at his level of career competition. She credits him with not wanting to get too full of himself – something he wants her to call him out on, which she has only done once.
She noted her son’s patience and amiability during this month’s homecoming event. After signing autographs and taking pictures for hours and taking a planned track run outside with local youth, Kenny returned to the gym where others still waited. Bednarek said the videographer present told her he “couldn’t get over that,” as he’s worked with other professional athletes who set the limit at maybe 50 people, and then move on.
Reflecting on the ups and downs over all these years, Bednarek knows adoption is not for everyone. For her, it was God’s plan, and she knows her work as a mother isn’t done even though most women her age are enjoying grandchildren.
“You just have to open yourself up,” she advised. “Listen to God and be willing to entertain the ideas he gives you.”
One study, the 2022 U.S. Adoption Attitudes Survey, conducted by The Harris Poll for the Dave Thomas Foundation found that while more than 30 percent of Americans have considered adoption, only 2 to 4 percent have actually adopted a child.
Fr. Dennis Mullen, retired priest of the Diocese of Superior, has said for many years that if Catholics call themselves pro-life, they must follow through by asking themselves, “Is there room for one more at our table?” Pro-life supporters, he says, must be pro-adoption.
Bednarek doesn’t mince words about the challenges that come with adopting children, especially out of the foster care system. “You just work through whatever comes, one day at a time,” she said. “And you know God doesn’t give you anything … you can’t handle.”
Bednarek made the choice not to date early into her motherhood. “Dating was off the table for their sake and stability” at home, she said. She thought back to when the boys first came home with her, how she ached for all they had suffered. “I made a commitment to my boys. I made a commitment to them right away,” she said. “You are here to stay and are never going anywhere ever again. You are mine. The end.”
Bednarek humorously added that she’s wondered if some of their challenges and antics over the years were to test her resolve, then iterated that every child deserves the security of feeling unconditional love.
“They needed to know I would always be there,” she added, and although she has never been awarded any medals, her heart, it seems, is solid gold. Learn more at davethomasfoundation.org.
