Safe Haven Sunday a support for parents14 min read

Jenny Snarski
Catholic Herald Staff

Last year marked the first time the Diocese of Superior participated in “Safe Haven Sunday,” an annual effort encouraging priests and parishes to address pornography’s societal harms.

The initiative, organized by Covenant Eyes, an accountability program for individuals and families, was inspired by the U.S. Catholic Bishops and their pastoral letter on the issue of pornography, “Create in Me a Clean Heart.”

Covenant Eyes provides multiple resources and implementation guides for the annual program that follows a four-year cycle.

In a letter to priests of the diocese, assistant director of the Office of Evangelization and Missionary Discipleship Loree Nauertz, who works primarily with marriage and adult ministry, shared her gratitude to those who would be speaking on the topic for “Safe Haven Sunday.”

“I say, Thank You! Thank you for addressing this issue! I know it isn’t easy, but as a mother, I can tell you, parents need your support in this battle,” she wrote.

Nauertz added her personal experience, “I have talked with numerous parents who feel alone in combating this evil. They are embarrassed to speak about it and they are hoping the church will help address this issue. Ultimately, the people with the struggle must have their hearts, minds and souls be their filters, but we can offer support in their struggle through prayer, accountability and providing resources.

“To parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and mentors,” Nauertz addressed, “I encourage you to learn more about this issue and being talking about it in the open. Our children, our friends and our spouses need to know that we are here to help them, not shame or condemn them … Please don’t hesitate to reach out for help. We are not meant to be alone in this struggle.”

Last year’s theme, “Equipping the Family, Safeguarding Children,” highlighted the seriousness of pornography as an issue affecting families. This year, the theme is “Having Critical Conversations,” to guide parents and other adults in the difficult but necessary dialogue with young people. “Safety through Connection” and “Healing Marriages and Fatherhood” are years three and four.

“Confident: Helping Parents Navigate Online Exposure” is the resource for Safe Haven Sunday’s second year, available in print or e-book format, and includes a “Safe Digital Family Challenge.” At less than 65 pages, it takes about one hour to read and is divided into four parts, which include why discussions are important, preparation for discussion, having the actual conversation and practical steps to prepare a home.

Slated for the first weekend of Lent, March 8-9, the chosen theme for 2025 is “Having Critical Conversations.” According to Nauertz, this is meant to coach parents through talking with their children.

The book’s introduction encourages parents not to panic or feel like children need to be “fixed” if they have been exposed to or engaged with pornography.

Pornography is presented as a reality many children encounter. A survey is quoted that states more than half of men and one-third of women first saw porn before their teenage years. Teen girls are particularly susceptible to posting or sharing compromising images digitally; women are also consuming an increasing amount of sexually explicit content.

Whether parents are conversing with their children or not, young people are being taught about sex and marriage by the secular culture through mass media and the internet. It is no longer a question of “if” a child will be exposed to something inappropriate, it is only a matter of “when,” authors write.

The second chapter explains the four stages of porn use. Stage 1 is experimentation and curiosity; Stage 2 is regular recreational use; Stage 3 is “risky use,” where getting caught is less concerning as seeking out porn becomes more about the “high”; and Stage 4 is dependence and addiction, where the brain craves the hormonal highs and withdrawal carries symptoms that make it difficult to give up.

In the third chapter, parents are invited to prepare for conversations, especially realizing that electronic devices give “our children a doorway into pornified content that diminishes innocence, challenges holiness and confuses relationships, sometimes for a lifetime,” the book states. Parents are also advised to have concrete information about their child’s viewing from browsing history, even putting off a conversation a few days until they feel prepared. Having more information to present to a child will alleviate the difficulty for them in describing the extent of exposure and engagement.

Parents are advised to consult a mentor or priest if they feel the need. Most importantly, they are encouraged to pray to God for confidence and compassion, and recognize that more than one conversation will likely be necessary.

“Remember, this conversation is not ultimately about porn; it is about getting to know your child,” the text offers. It is about opening an ongoing dialogue and encouraging trust and honesty.

The final chapter offers statistics from a 2016 survey: 57 percent of high school students have viewed pornography on their phones; 61 percent had viewed it in their bedrooms; and 48 percent admitted to viewing porn when they are bored.

Data was also shared regarding smartphone use by teens and children and the frequent usage of phones in bedrooms.

Parents are encouraged to lead by example, to utilize Covenant Eyes accountability software to protect devices used by the family and not to allow TVs, smartphones, tablets or computers in bedrooms where kids can access the internet unsupervised. Lastly, healthy hobbies and responsibilities are suggested to provide outlets for energy and creativity.

Nauertz has provided parish priests with a suggested homily and parish timeline for implementation. Beginning in January, parishes were asked to order hardcopies of the “Confident” text and offered a social media kit for promotion. Promotion of Safe Haven Sunday was incorporated with the Theology of the Body Immersion Day that took place in Hayward on Feb. 25.

She said that some priests had also asked for resources that could be shared during the Sacrament of Reconciliation. For additional resources, ask a priest or reach out to Nauertz at .