Tina Strub, of Hubertus, speaks to parents who are homeschooling their children or considering a call to do so during a conference on Sept. 28. (Catholic Herald photo by Jenny Snarski)
Jenny Snarski
Catholic Herald Staff
“Numbers were up this year,” Loree Nauertz reported regarding the Diocese of Superior’s third annual Homeschooling Conference. Nauertz, who serves as assistant director for the Office of Evangelization and Missionary Discipleship, said 65 adults and children were registered for the Sept. 28 event held at St. Joseph Catholic Church in Rice Lake.
The day event lasted from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. and included Mass with Bishop James P. Powers, two talks and small-group discussions. Featured speaker Tina Strub has 20 years of homeschooling experience; the military wife and mom of eight shared wisdom and wit as she spoke about the challenges and gifts of homeschooling.
Strub’s first talk focused on the real-life challenges of homeschooling using examples from her own experience. She addressed the topic of self-care, and much of what she advised was not exclusive to homeschooling parents. Commenting on the Gospel passage where Jesus says to deny oneself and give up one’s life, she added just how important integral self-care is, especially since “you can’t give what you don’t have.”
She said that it is the word of God become flesh in us that must surrender to God in big and small details. This includes accepting a path of holiness filled with simple acceptance and sincere gift, even in the details.
Elaborating on what it means to be a gift of self, Strub covered four points: physical well-being, mental health, spiritual health and solid marital lives.
“Running kids around to activities is not exercise,” Strub jokingly clarified. She reviewed basic practices of getting dressed, spending time outside and leisure time with your children.
To maintain mental health, Strub encouraged keeping up with personal interests in areas of creativity, nature and fiction reading. “The busier we are, the more we need it,” she said.
Regarding spiritual well-being, she repeated, “There is no substitute for prayer … Prayer gives insights, strength that will come from no other place.” She noted that this is not prayer with your children, important as that is; rather, it’s personal alone time with God.
Strub emphasized that it takes heroic effort but is important to establish the habit of getting up before the kids and make quiet time with God a priority. Time to “ask and listen,” she said. “Listen and you’ll hear him. He’s gentle, loving, inviting. Always inviting.”
“The challenges we face in parenting do not define us,” Strub continued. “The way we handle those challenges does.” This is how the great saints lived, she said, and added that holiness is for all of us and is possible within the four walls of our homes.
For marital well-being, the speaker started off iterating the concept of being a gift to each other, not allowing yourself to be so drained or overwhelmed that you can’t give any attention to your spouse. She also said that we need to “surrender our expectations of a perfect spouse.”
“Nurture the friendship your marriage is based on … Don’t take each other for granted… Know that intimate relationships require time, intentionality and focus,” she encouraged.
Strub reflected on how many marriages run into trouble by always putting the children first. “There was the two of you before the children,” and that’s what it will be after they leave home. She said to call on grandparents and friends to make time for date nights, especially when life gets busy.
“If your marriage is good, the kids will be good,” she said. Seeing parents show affection gives children “so much security, and if you do disagree in front of the children, make sure you make up in front of them.” This teaches children about forgiveness and reconciliation.
Strub reminded that all marriages go through tough times but that it’s necessary to be aware of how hard Satan works against families. Go to confession regularly, she encouraged, and confront addictions and get professional help when needed.
Throughout her presentations, Strub gave scriptural references, reading each verse and relating it to her talking points.
As she shared further personal anecdotes, Strub said, “We can all have the feelings that marriage and family isn’t glamorous. It is great, but not glamorous.” She stressed the important for herself of practical elements like making her bed, leaving dishes in the sink until the end of the day, taking breaks throughout the day and giving children chores to share in ownership of the family.
She also spoke about not letting extracurricular activities run a family’s schedule: “They can overwhelm your entire life. You have to fight for your family and draw boundary lines that will be not crossed.”
She concluded with a reflection from Kimberly Hahn’s personal story on how parenthood challenges parents to grow in trust.
“We’re really not in control,” Strub shared. “It’s humbling to realize how out of control we really are, but God hasn’t asked me to control my children. He asks me to love them, teach them.” If we are faithful in that, Strub ended, then we are successful.
Witness
Before the afternoon talk, Nauertz, who homeschooled her six children for much of their education, shared comments made by her two youngest boys on the drive that morning.
Luke Nauertz, who now attends Spooner High School, was homeschooled for all of elementary and middle school. He encouraged his mom to tell conference attendees that he sees all the hard work has been worth it. He listed some benefits, including getting to know his parents better, learning his faith well and learning how to think.
Joseph Nauertz, a seventh-grader, has been schooled both at home and at Catholic school. The transition back to homeschooling was not as hard as he imagined, he said, and he is grateful for the extra time with his parents.
Nauertz admitted being grateful herself for having to slow down enough to prepare for and work with her son.
Nauertz clarified, “You have to discern. It has to be a calling,” she emphasized. “If it’s not the Lord’s calling, then it’s going to fall apart.”
She added that it is okay to take it one year at a time.
“Do whatever the Lord is calling you to do,” Nauertz said. “We have to learn to center our lives on him and him alone. Get rid of the outside noise. Allow him to lead you and guide.” She said it was okay to fall on your knees at times and beg God for help. “Wipe your tears and let them know that the Lord is in charge,” she encouraged.
Director of the Office of Evangelization and Discipleship Chris Hurtubise attended the conference with his wife, Stephanie. “It was such a joy to spend the day with Bishop and many of the other homeschooling families from across the diocese,” he said. “I loved the positive, joyful spirit that filled the room.”
He reflected, “There are many different charisms and spiritualities by which the body of Christ in built up and blessed. So, too, there are different means by which families live out their call to be the primary educators of their children. In our parish community, we have friends living out that calling in such different ways: Homeschooling, Catholic schools and religious education programs. This variety strengthens us and gives the church resilience and a broader missionary footing.
“Nevertheless, each of the speakers we’ve brought in over the past three years has made it clear to us: Our diocese is leading the way in honoring and supporting each of these approaches that the Lord may be calling families to take.”
Hurtubise concluded, “With homeschooling being the least visible of these options, Bishop Powers’ joyful support of us as we pursue this path is such an incredible blessing.”
