Men greet one another during the Knights for Dads Rally on Feb. 22 in River Falls. (Photos by Mike Jilek)
Sue Fritz
Special to the Catholic Herald
The purpose of a rally, usually, is to fire up a crowd before a big sports game. The Knights for Dads Rally at St. Bridget Church in River Falls opened on Feb. 22 with a different “rally cry.”
Minnesota musician Luke Spehar invited 138 men who attended from 32 communities to “get stoked and equipped to return to the home front or whatever battleground the Lord is calling you to, so you can fully engage family, friends, co-workers and neighbors.”
Speaker Joe Farris assured the group, “God brought you here for a reason. He has a vision for you to be fully alive.”
From North Carolina, Farris is a husband, father, church leader and Catholic speaker. In addition to being a singer/songwriter, Spehar is a life coach and founder of Always Intentional Man, which equips men to be good fathers.
Farris shared his evidence that fathers play an important role in their family’s faith journey. He spent 15 years as a middle school teacher. Every year, he asked his sixth-graders to write a paper describing God. Later in the year, he asked them to write a paper about their fathers. Ninety-five percent of the time, the way students described their fathers was how they described God. If they described God as authoritative – dad was the rules guy. God is distant – dad was never home. God is loving and kind – so was dad.
“You make a difference in your kids’ lives!” Farris assured them. He urged them to live their faith as if their family depended on it. The secret to being fully alive, Farris told the group, is being bold in prayer, knowing God and having brothers in faith.
Prayer
“The key to prayer is simple … trust God with everything!” Farris asserted. He listed some of the enemies of prayer life: the evil one, stress, thinking we are in control, busyness, distractions. We don’t need to be perfect, he asserted. None of us are. Whatever is in your life, take it to prayer.
Knowing God
“God dreamed you into existence,” Farris asserted. “He sees you, he knows you … not the brand you put out there, but the real you. God loves you the way he created you. You can’t go back and change anything, but you can start today to change the future.
“Your wife and your friends don’t need the shield you’ve been hiding behind,” he assured.
“When you say to your wife and children that you are in control, you claim to be God. As men, we need to know that there is a God, and it’s not us!”
He encouraged attendees to become comfortable talking about Jesus and sharing their faith. Everyone has a faith story to share, he assured attendees. “Don’t keep it to yourself.”
Fraternity
“As men, we need a role model for our lives,” he said. Farris offered a great example of a fully alive man and role model. Fr. Emil Kapaun from Kansas was a heroic Catholic priest and Army chaplain who is on the path to sainthood for his service in Korea and during World War II. He is the most decorated military chaplain in U.S. history, having received over a dozen military honors, including a 2013 Congressional Medal of Honor, a Purple Heart, and a Bronze Star. He and his battalion were captured by the Chinese and subjected to brutal treatment. Fr. Kapaun ministered to the men, day and night, risking his life to give them hope.
Farris challenged the men: Don’t just try to get to the finish line … heaven. Invite others to join you and be vulnerable with them. “Life is a series of defining moments. Don’t let life pass you by. Your greatest days are now!”
Farris offered steps to trust God more:
1. Pray like Jesus. You might start by praying the Psalms; just one at a time. Find a guy with whom you can pray and share Jesus. Pressed for time? Try texting. Read the Psalm and text your buddy with one observation, thought or question each day.
2. Read a short Scripture passage and ponder it until it resonates in your heart. For years, Farris pondered Luke 1:37: Nothing is impossible for God. For a long time, his response was, “Oh, yeah?”
3. Drop your shield and be the person God intended you to be.
4. Find a role model and pattern your life after that person. It will change your life. It might be a saint, a family member, a friend. Farris recommended Fr. Kapaun.
5. See your bride with new, loving eyes. Do you love Jesus as much?
6. Let go of bitterness. It isn’t helping you anyway.
7. Be bold in talking about your faith. Don’t keep Jesus to yourself!
8. Healed people heal the world. Wounded people wound the world. Which do you intend to be?
9. Decide what you will do from this day forward. Then, do it.
10. Join or start a men’s group. We all need encouragement, direction, affirmation and fraternity.
Three testimonials
The event team invited three men to share testimonials about their faith journeys, knowing that we can learn and benefit from others’ experiences. Here are excerpts from their presentations.
Doug Weiss grew up Catholic, but admits his faith wasn’t truly alive. There were so many distractions in life. Twelve years ago, a friend, Jim Beix, invited him to a Demontreville silent retreat. That retreat, which he has attended for 12 consecutive years, changed everything. Doug says it rejuvenates his soul to pray, eat, sing and worship with other men.
He noted that three years ago the Holy Spirit nudged him and other men to create an event that makes a difference for men. That inspiration became the Knights for Dads Rally. The goal is to help men become fully alive and blessed in their prayer, formation and fraternity. “The result is making life better for you, your family and community,” he concluded.
Lyle Bowe grew up in a family that prayed the rosary together, whether they wanted to or not! When his life took some wrong turns, he picked up a rosary sent by his mom. Next came confession. He recalled standing outside a small country church, unsure about walking inside, unsure if he was worthy. A friend tapped him on the shoulder and invited him to spend time with Jesus in the Adoration Chapel. Eucharist was next.
Lyle referenced a study that shows if the father is into his faith, there is a 93% chance that his children will do the same. He called dads to step up, for themselves and their children.
For Dustin Dodge, the first struggle was at age 7 with the murder of his grandparents. He watched his father help his mother deal with this devastating loss. Ten years later, his mom suffered severe depression and didn’t leave their house for 10 years. He witnessed his dad’s 24/7 love and care for his mom. Love is more than a feeling, he told the group; it’s a commitment.
Then a miracle happened. His mom returned to her old self. The family, including his mom, traveled to La Crosse for his brother’s first Christmas Eve Mass as a priest. His mom said, “I’ve been wrapped in darkness for 10 years. Your priesthood set me free.” Just a few months later, she died of brain cancer.
Dustin also spoke about being vulnerable with others, something he had avoided for many years until he realized that being vulnerable is essential to relationships … with God, friends, family. Rely on prayer, he advised, and continue to enrich your faith through formation and true fraternity.
